Remember this past January when America was gripped by the saga of Did-Beyoncé-Lip-Synch-at-the-Presidential-Inauguration?

Michelle Obama will attend the funeral for the 15 year old shot to death just days after performing at the inauguration.

An honor student from one of Chicago's top schools who had just performed at President Obama's second inauguration ceremony last week was killed yesterday after being caught in the crossfire of a gang-related shooting.

CNN has just published a breaking news bulletin confirming that America's No. 1 threat to national security, the pop-singer Beyoncé, did not sing live at Monday's Presidential Inauguration and Live Singing Only Ceremony.

Some went through the stages of grief when word emerged that Beyoncé lip-synched "The Star Spangled Banner" at Monday's Presidential Inauguration. Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul and Saying Weird Things in Public from Time to Time (remember the Kathie Lee beef of 2012?), however, was tickled by the news and may emulate Beyoncé going forward. Or something. Franklin told ABCNews.com that she thought King Bey "did a beautiful job," adding (and here's the weird part):

Barack Obama is only one day into his second term as president, and already his is the most controversial, scandal-plagued tenure of any leader of any country ever.

Everyone — well, nearly everyone — was enthralled by Michelle Obama's ostensible shade-throwing in the direction of John Boehner during yesterday's Inauguration Day luncheon at the Capitol.

Bad news, Bey-holes: Beyoncé's performance of "The Star-Spangled Banner" yesterday was lip-synched, according to The Times:

This graphic from the Times identifies the notables sitting behind Obama at the inauguration. Can you find Eva Longoria?

Not to be forgotten, Al Roker—TV news correspondent, Today Show weatherman, and White House sharter—made everyone uncomfortable again today when he shouted insanely at the President and Vice President until they acknowledged his existence. "I love Joe Biden," said Al Roker, as he rocked back and forth like a small child waiting in line for the bathroom. Biden, ever-suave, ducked out of the parade to shake Mr. Roker's hand and that was that.

There is nothing not great about this candid AP photo of President Obama and the First Lady sneaking a quick smooch during this afternoon's Inaugural Parade while the First Daughters look on.

Love words but hate coherence? Here's a randomly edited, much shorter version of Obama's inaugural address, via the NYT.

Today Washington, D.C. was all atwitter with the graduation of President Obama from first-term president to second-term president. Here is your Inauguration 2013 yearbook.

Recently, Yahoo! News commissioned a couple Pulitzer Prize winners and also James Franco to write poems on the subject of Barack Obama's second inauguration. The full text of James Franco's poem is available here. You also have the option of watching him read the poem into a webcam while lying down in bed wearing a t-shirt, which we highly recommend doing, if only for the funny way he says "little burrito place." Here, I've responded to James Franco's poem with a poem.

Tumblr blogger Mattyrab locates what might be the most important moment of the inauguration: this hall-of-fame shade-throwing moment at the post-inauguration luncheon. Watch the first lady react to whatever Speaker of the House John Boehner just said, and take notes — this is master-class material.

Though the crowd was somewhat smaller this time around, the Washington Post notes that it was still "one of the largest in history to witness a president's second inauguration," and President Obama wanted to savor every last minute of that history.

Among those absent from today's inauguration was Mitt Romney, the man who almost was. NBC News' Peter Alexander also reports that a former aide of Romney's says it's "doubtful" that the Romneys were watching. What's your problem with Beyoncé, Mittens?

The initial moments of Beyoncé's inauguration performance were fraught with confusion, after she opened her mouth to sing the national anthem and everyone realized that God had replaced the artist formerly known as Beyoncé with an actual living angel whose voice was more heavenly than a thousand Hallelujah choruses.

Famed German poet Novalis once said of poetry, "Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason." Today, with a deeply personal yet universally-minded work read at President Obama's second inauguration, Cuban-born gay poet Richard Blanco attempted to apply salve to some of our nation's sorest wounds with language. Just his presence was historic and somewhat healing in and of itself: Blanco is the first Latino and first openly gay inaugural poet in America's centuries-long history. (Read the full text here.) The nation's collective response? "LOL, what is this dumb-ass shit? Bring on Beyonce!"

Over 2,000 words and not a single mention of her? Snooze City. "Poor sasha will be hearing about that yawn for the rest of her life," says Huff Post editor Peter Goodman.