A Gift Guide for a Clam That Wants to Walk Among Humans as an Equal
“Clams are just clams. Not people.” That’s what they all say. But one clam will prove them all wrong—with the help of a few essential items.
1. Rascal scooter. Locomotion? Yeah—I got that.
2. Mannequin. A vaguely human form atop which I may perch? Yeah—I got that.
3. Full wetsuit. An insulated covering to conceal my lack of a full body? Yeah—I got that.
4. High stilts. Legs, or something like them in a rudimentary way? Yeah—I got that.
5. Voice amplifier. A chance to let my tiny clam voice roar across the firmament at last? Yeah—I got that.
[Photo by Nick Stango]