A List of Things to Send Obama for His Birthday
Barack Hussein Obama II is 54 years young today. You are probably wondering (aloud to a stranger on the street at this very moment): What should I send Obama for his birthday? I’m glad you asked.
Here, a list of gifts to send President Obama:
- A bottle of Johnnie Walker Black
- A vaporizer
- A copy of Between the World and Me
- Advil (liquid-gels)
- A signed Michael Jordan Bulls jersey
- A gift certificate to Bonobos for new jeans
- A more cooperative Senate
- A copy of When Your Kid Goes to College: A Parents’ Survival Guide
- A karaoke machine
- A painting that you painted
- A copy of Al Green’s Testify: The Best of the A&M Years
- A John Boehner voodoo doll
- A new pair of Stacy Adams
- This
- A subscription to TIDAL
- More whiskey
- An American Flag do-rag
- A bag of peanut M&Ms
- A Patti LaBelle cookbook
- Taylor Swift tickets—GOOD ones!
- A gift certificate to a spa in DC
- A list of things you like about him very much
- This, too
- A weekend subscription to the New York Times
- A little suit, too small for him to wear but cute
- A pack of Newports
- A framed photo of Joe Biden
- Real Joe Biden standing really still in a big frame, like he’s a picture, and then he shouts “SURPRISE!”
All presents should be mailed to:
President Barack Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington, DC 20500
[Image via Getty]