Herbivores—animals too weak to even kill and eat another, weaker animal—may be in for an “enormous” die-off soon. I suppose this is our fault, also?

On the one hand, animals all claim they want “freedom.” The freedom to roam, the freedom to eat leaves off of bushes at no cost to themselves, the freedom to poop wherever they please with little regard for sanitation. But try bringing up concepts like “responsibility,” and what do you hear? Not even crickets, because the crickets have died off thanks to radical climate change.

A new study of 74 large herbivore species found that these mollycoddled layabouts seem to be incapable of adapting to the realities of the world around them, and you, the hardworking taxpayer, will surely be asked to foot the bill for them sooner or later. From the Washington Post:

The animals are suffering from range collapse, a contraction of the land available for them to survive. Currently, the study said, they have only 19 percent of their historical ranges on which to roam, with the elephant, hippopotamus and black rhinoceros now living on “tiny fractions” of their previous empires... “surprisingly [a scientist said], the results show that the two main factors in herbivore declines are hunting by humans and habitat change. They are twin threats.”

Stand up for yourselves, herbivores. God helps those hippopotami that help themselves.

[Photo of a loser: Flickr]