animals
Ungulates, Ranked
Melissa Cronin · 05/22/16 03:35PMIn the great and historic tradition of my forebears, I’d like to wrap up my illustrious career as the weekend warrior for Gawker dot com with a ranking. The subject of this list is that widely unappreciated group of odd- and even-toed mammals, those noble ruminants of the grasslands, that clade of hoofed wonders: the four-legged ungulates.*
This Goofy Repository of Florida Farm Crimes Is My New Favorite Facebook Page
Andy Cush · 05/16/16 04:00PMI don’t know about you, but when I log onto Facebook, I’m hoping to see pregnancy announcements from couples I went to high school with, self-congratulatory status updates from my professional peers, and photos of the latest gator crimes and horse frauds being perpetrated in the Sunshine State. That’s why the Florida Agricultural Crimes Intelligence Unit is my new favorite page on the social network.
Extremely Good Dog Hesitates to Take Loyalty Oath at Donald Trump Rally
Andy Cush · 03/08/16 06:02PMWhat we have here is some footage of a good boy such a good boy who’s my sweet little puppy boy yes you are who made his way into a Donald Trump rally in Florida over the weekend. The owner of this little pupperoo tried to make him raise his right paw and take the creepy Trump loyalty oath, but the pupperoo wasn’t having it.
Baltimore Cop Who Slit Dog's Throat Will Be Awarded $45,000 in Back Pay
Andy Cush · 03/08/16 03:35PMThey're Gonna Make a Rattlesnake Island in Massachusetts--Sounds Unsafe
Hamilton Nolan · 02/24/16 09:05AMThe US Government Is Not Doing Anything To Protect Endangered Species
Melissa Cronin · 12/14/15 08:00PMHamilton Nolan · 12/10/15 11:20AM
Advice For Wolves
Hamilton Nolan · 12/02/15 09:20AMTap Dancing Love Birds Put All of Our Pathetic Relationships To Shame
Melissa Cronin · 11/19/15 10:25PMThis is it; we will never be capable of real romance again.
Bestiality Finally Banned in All But One-Fifth of U.S. States
Melissa Cronin · 11/09/15 07:45PM800-Pound Alligator "Godzilla" Dragged From Shopping Center, Tied Up In Pink Ribbons
Melissa Cronin · 11/09/15 06:56PMAn 800-pound alligator minding his own business at a Texas shopping center was accosted, lassoed, and paraded around in bawdy finery like a common tramp in Houston this week.
Animals Like Pizza, We Get It
Melissa Cronin · 10/24/15 08:30AMIt seems like every animal who gets a little hungry and thinks to himself, “Hmmm, you know what I’d love right now? I’d really just like to indulge myself with a big ol’ cheesy slice-a-pizz’!” these days must face the glare of national news cameras in his face, intruding on what could have been a quiet meal alone.
Wake Up, Sheeple, and Watch this Herd of Sheep Invade a City
Melissa Cronin · 10/17/15 09:38AMLion-Killing Dentist Won't Be Charged In Zimbabwe, Unlike His Zimbabwean Friends
Melissa Cronin · 10/12/15 06:08PMI Have Found The One Good Cat
Chris Thompson · 10/11/15 04:15PMCats are known the world over for being evil little shits. And this cat is also an evil little shit. But this cat puts his evil ways to use for the good of all living things, waging war for a thousand generations against flutists. The flute is the thing that is worse than cats, and this good cat, rather than compound his badness by playing the flute, is taking a stand. That puts him on the side of the right. Good cat.