AP Report: Everyone's Going to Die in Rio
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According to the newest AP report on the horrors of Rio, things have gotten so bad that just looking at its toilet ocean is about enough to potentially kill you.
With just days to go until the Rio Olympics begin, the AP—which has been testing viral levels since last year—reports water conditions are worse than ever. Inside the Gloria Marina, where the sailing races take place, adenoviruses per liter have jumped more than 42 percent since they first sampled it in March, 2015.
Anyone who ingests more than three tablespoons of the water is “almost certain” to get infected with a virus, the AP reports. Even tourists who stick to the beach are reportedly in danger—sand tests at the Ipanema and Copacabana beaches show high viral levels too. So what’s an open-water swimmer to do? “Don’t put your head under water,” one biomedical expert advises.
No one ever said winning was easy...