Capitalist Babies Lash Out at Pope in the Most Capitalist Way Possible
Cool Pope “Francis” (a pseudonym) has said some things in the past that could be interpreted as less than completely enthusiastic about the predations of unrestrained capitalism. That bastard. The plutocrats will show him he’s wrong—the capitalist way!
Francis has spoken out strongly against the economic inequality that global capitalism inevitably produces, and has written, for example, “some people continue to defend trickle-down theories which assume that economic growth, encouraged by a free market, will inevitably succeed in bringing about greater justice and inclusiveness in the world. This opinion, which has never been confirmed by the facts, expresses a crude and naïve trust in the goodness of those wielding economic power and in the sacralized workings of the prevailing economic system.” That makes him not so much a communist as an accurate observer of economic reality. Still, his failure to sufficiently praise business titans has business titans feeling irked.
The Wall Street Journal examines how Catholic American capitalists are planning to express their—how shall we say it?—childish narcissistic outrage, at the man they consider to be their spiritual leader, because he has insinuated that the single-minded pursuit of money may not be healthy for the world at large. And here we have the single best gesture proving that the Pope was wrong about money’s shallow and self-serving nature:
One potential donor cited such comments in deciding against giving a seven-figure donation toward the restoration of St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan, said a spokesman for the New York Archdiocese, declining to name the person.
He really showed him.
[Photo: AP]