After Considering It for 48 Hours, We Will Give It Up for Ryan Reynolds

There was a lot of back and forth on this one internally: do we give it up – JUST THIS ONE TIME - for Ryan Reynolds, the former actor who produced and narrated this Peloton ad? It seemed to really come together quickly, and his line delivery is quite funny, as far as line deliveries in exercise bike ads go. But still, there was hand-wringing, hemming, hawing, and the like. Two days passed, which is half a day longer than it took Ryan Reynolds and his production company Maximum Effort to make the Peloton ad.

Maybe it’s because he’s handsome and we’re a bunch of jealous haters who are secretly afraid he’d find us sexually inadequate, we admitted to ourselves, but we find Ryan Reynolds very annoying. Hot people are, of course, allowed to be funny, but an outsized amount of fuss seems to be made about Ryan Reynolds and his flossy-haired antebellum debutante bride Blake Lively’s brand of humor. People are always saying they’re trolling and owning one another — that is when she’s not being Peak Supportive Wife (I have to point out that she misspelled “Peloton” on this cupcake box). But we can see straight through dishonest self-effacement easily. Buncha phonies. Additionally, while The Proposal is one of the best movies ever, atmospherically at least, Reynolds forced comedic iconic Sandy Bullock into a shrewish corner by playing her romantic co-lead while looking like that. We do not condone that. All in all, he’s starting at a loss here.

But on the other hand, it’s a pretty slow news day. So slow, in fact, that I was allowed to publish a lightly comedic article about confusing a pair of soiled tights on my floor with my dog. The stationary, uphill cycle that is professional blogging requires a steady heartbeat to stay upright and alive. So here we are. The Peloton ad is funny. We’ve gotta give Ryan Reynolds a hand for it this time, and I swear to god, never again.