DeuxMoi Deuxs Nothing for Me

DeuxMoi, the anonymous Instagram account that shares follower-submitted celebrity “gossip,” now boasts one million followers — an enormous number of people who care to tune into its Instagram stories, which generally feature shockingly quotidian information about celebrities.

DeuxMoi has the occasional funny sighting (yesterday’s Instagram story featured a tidbit about Reese Witherspoon shortcircuiting in the Hamptons when she was unable to buy wine before noon), but it is also likely infested by publicists shilling for clients. The account’s sources (publicists) conveniently hide under the cover of requesting to be posted “anon plz” (the account’s tagline, now emblazoned on merch), as though there is something dangerous about informing an Instagram account that you spotted Vanderpump Rules stars poolside at the Ace Hotel & Swim Club in Palm Springs. Look at the below, from a few months ago. How on Earth is this a blind item?

Or this one from yesterday about Prince Harry at a celebrity polo match:

It’s all just so toothless! I want grit from my celebrity gossip accounts! Sex, drugs, rock n’ roll, mysterious deaths involving jacuzzi tubs!

There are other places to get your blinds — Crazy Days and Nights to see which Italian movie star murdered his lover’s family, Blind Gossip for clues on upcoming breakups, us to see who is having a racist birthday party. In a world full of such chad blinds, why are one million people and bots so into virgin DeuxMoi? Articles about the account often ascribe its popularity to simple curiosity, the rush of the false intimacy of a parasocial relationship with your favorite celebrity, a need for positivity. It’s all just so... boring. We deserve better.

That thing about Bernie Sanders ordering tomato soup for lunch was pretty cute, however.