Emmy Rossum Officially Old Enough to Play Tom Holland's Mom

The Hollywood Reporter reported today that Emmy Rossum has joined the Apple series The Crowded Room alongside co-star Tom Holland. Obviously we don’t care about any of that, but look at this:

“Holland, who is also executive producing, is starring as a man named Danny Sullivan.

Rossum will play Sullivan’s mother, who is always looking for a man to fulfill her dreams of salvation.”

Rossum will play Sullivan’s mother. You might be thinking that, huh, maybe that makes sense. Maybe Emmy Rossum is older than you think, or Tom Holland is younger. Holland does tend to play young, spidery men. Maybe he’s in his late teens? Maybe Rossum looks good for her age, which is maybe … late forties? No.

Emmy Rossum is 35. Tom Holland is 25.

This leaves us with a few options:

• Emmy Rossum is what a woman with a 25-year-old son looks like to certain people.
• Emmy Rossum’s character had Tom Holland at 10.
• Emmy Rossum’s character is Tom Holland’s mother the way Mandy Moore is Justin Hartley’s mother on This Is Us: with bad old lady makeup, references to the music of the ‘70s, and a suspension of disbelief that only an intense interest in familial drama can inspire.
• Emmy Rossum plays Tom Holland’s mom in flashbacks, again like Mandy Moore in This Is Us, revealing that the only thing worse than ageism in Hollywood is non-linear storytelling.
• The Crowded Room is about a little kid who looks exactly like Tom Holland.

Now, listen. I’m not that strict. In Gilmore Girls, when Lorelai was 35, Rory was an 18-year-old senior in high school. I know this because I recently watched, for personal reasons, the episode where Lorelai turned 35. In the series, Lorelai gave birth at 16, but Lauren Graham (Lorelai) and Alexis Bledel (Rory) are in reality only 14 years apart in age. That’s fine by me: 14 years apart, but we’re going to stretch to believe 16 years apart. Yes, fine.

But what’s the story gonna be here? They’re only 10 years apart, but we’re gonna say she was, what, 18 when she had him? And Tom Holland is what, 18 now? And Emmy Rossum’s character is 36?

Actually I guess that would be fine. But the Hollywood Reporter says Tom Holland is “a man named Danny Sullivan.” That kind of sounds like he’s playing a guy who’s at least in his 20s. Huh. Perhaps this is a question for Amanda Seyfried, who will be “playing a clinical psychologist faced with the most challenging case of her career.” I’ll say!