Welcome to the Fallon Files, a weekly-ish series chronicling only the lowest lows of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
What can’t Jimmy do? Fresh from vacation with a new lease on life, our boy has announced that he is adding something else to his long list of jobs. In addition to TV star (host, late night), TV star (host, primetime), author (children’s books), entrepreneur (pacifiers), Jimmy is adding sneakerhead to his resumé.
Partnering with creative agency MSCHF — of Lil Nas X Satan shoes fame — Jimmy has created his very own sneaker, called the Gobstomper, and he promises that there is “no blood” involved. Instead, it’s inspired by the Willy Wonka candy Gobsmackers, because apparently it changes color the more you wear it? More accurately, the shoe slowly disintegrates over time to reveal a swirl of primary colors. I’ll just show you.
So kind of like when there’s gasoline in a puddle and you can see a rainbow. Or if you pointed a heat gun at a shoe and some parts of it were really hot.
On The Tonight Show, Jimmy described his initial meeting with MSCHF. “If I’m gonna make a shoe it’s gotta be different, it’s gotta change the game,” he said, slapping the table. “The more you wear it, and wear it down, and break it in, there’s different layers of colors in the sneaker.” The crowd gasped as if they had never heard of electricity and were watching someone turn on a lamp.
I know I rag on ol’ Jimbo a lot, but I have not seen him be this genuinely excited about something since he had a wing-eating contest with Priyanka Chopra. What a lovely change of pace to see a spark in his eye for once. Perhaps he can take a page out of Jessica Simpson’s book by pivoting to full-time shoe designer and finding peace. Not just yet of course — there is a new season of That’s My Jam to be filmed.