Jennifer's Lo-Key Pissed About a Leaked Vid of Her Disgusting Wedding

And so are we

PARIS, FRANCE - JULY 26: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are seen at the Louvre Museum on July 26, 20...
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private displays of affliction

Over the weekend, TMZ leaked a video from Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s sparsely attended wedding that showed Lopez performing what the website describes as “a new song” in front of Affleck and their guests. Lopez paired the tune with a choreographed dance routine and backup dancers. Her song’s lyrics included facts like: she “can’t get enough of you” and “can feel the passion in your eyes.” And all of this information is:

A SECRET!

“This was taken without permission. Period,” J. Lo said about the leaked video in an Instagram comment shared by fan account @jlow0rld. “And whoever did it took advantage of our private moment. I don’t know where you all are getting it from bc we had ndas and asked everyone to not share anything from our wedding. That is our choice to share.”

“Anything I put out private is OnTheJLO and it’s to share w my fans,” she added, which I do not understand but which I 100 percent support her right to say. “This was stolen without our consent and sold for money. Thank you for caring I love you guys.”

Now I don’t claim to be much more moral than your common TMZ — after all, I would have listened to the Beyonce leak if someone had sent it to me. But I must agree with Mrs. Affleck. It was wrong for a wedding guest to share this video publicly, and in particular it was wrong to share it with an outlet that I look at regularly, an act which almost guarantees that I will at some point view it. Yes, it is wrong that now, against my will, I have:

  • Seen Jennifer Lopez serenade Ben Affleck in a sexy way in front of their family and friends
  • Seen Ben Affleck seated with his legs spread open in a straight-back chair, grinning sheepishly
  • Felt the secondhand embarrassment reserved exclusively for the unfortunate guests of weddings that feature things like choreographed dances, self-written vows, or anything remotely related to sex

This is not fair (to me). I’m a normal person. I shouldn’t have to see this. I hope this guest is ashamed of what they have done, and the hurt they have caused.