Joe Rogan Can Suck His Own Dick?
And perhaps more importantly, he wants us to believe he hasn't actually done it?
Listen, I’m not trying to spend too much time talking to you about Joe Rogan. I know you have enough going on. But a bit of information has come to my attention that, frankly, I cannot mentally and emotionally house alone, so we’re going to have to shoulder it together. Joe Rogan says he’s so flexible that he can suck his own dick.
“I could suck my own dick if I wanted to,” the mixed martial arts fan said during a recent episode of his podcast. Okay. “I’m super flexible. I’ve never done it — but I’ve put it around my face just to know I could do it,” he said. All right. Okay. And now we both know.
One of his guests asked “What are you doing here then?,” implying that if he could suck his own dick he would be doing it nonstop, which would leave little time for hastening the fall of civilization via podcasting. “You still have a dick in your mouth. You can’t enjoy it!” Rogan said.
Now we are forced to consider whether we believe two things.
- That Joe Rogan is so flexible that he can, indeed, suck his own dick.
- That, even though he is able, he has not attempted to do so.
I guess I’m willing to believe that Joe Rogan is so flexible that he’s able to get his penis near his mouth — he is very athletic and allegedly ingests a confounding daily cocktail of supplements whose side effects on the body I do not purport to know. But I can’t really imagine a world in which Joe Rogan has not at least attempted some mouth contact with his own penis, if he is indeed able to reach it.
When will we get the whole truth? Honestly I hope never, but rest assured that I will let you know when we do.
