Our Dream Met Gala Guests

Happy first Monday in May to the whole team. Yes, we’ve made it to yet another Met Gala and our invitations have once again been lost in the mail. Weird that it happens every year, but we must persist.

This year’s gala is white-tie (formal!) with an emphasis on “gilded glamour,” the invitation states. Despite the “u” in their spelling of “glamour,” the theme for this year is "In America: An Anthology of Fashion.” Attendees who care to stay on theme will probably be dressed in their Edith Warton best, and everyone else will just wear whatever the brand that invited them tells them to.

Reportedly in attendance will be all of the Kardashians for the first time, the non-Zendaya cast of Euphoria, Kaia Gerber, Addison Rae, and New York City mayor Eric Adams. Sounds like a good party to me. But I do think Anna Wintour missed a few names when she was crafting her invite list. I’ve compiled them here — along with some help from Gawker staff — just in case she needs a few seat fillers in the next few hours.

Any of the Real Housewives, Specifically One from Potomac

Only a few Housewives have ever attended the Met Gala (Tinsely Mortimer, Kathy Hilton, and Yolanda Hadid), and none of them have ever really turned a look. Nor have they been there solely because they are Bravo stars. You know who would be an incredible representative for the network, though? Gizelle Bryant. The word on the street is that she would look stunning in a regency-inspired Christopher John Rogers outfit. I would also settle for Karen Huger or Ashley Darby.

Anderson Cooper

As a direct descendant of real-life Gilded Age boyboss Cornelius Vanderbilt, Cooper will not even have to dress up to be on theme. While he’s there, perhaps he can even lend a hand with Vogue’s red carpet coverage as a former daytime talk show host. As Anna Wintour knows firsthand, it’s important to cut costs wherever necessary. - George Civeris, Senior Editor

Julian Fellowes

Every glitzy red carpet needs some random old British man. That’s a rule I just came up with. People would see photos of Fellowes pop up on their timeline and be like, “Who’s that guy?” Then someone else would be like, “That’s Julian Fellowes, he wrote The Gilded Age.” And the original person would be like, “Oh, I guess that makes sense because of the theme.” Then we’d all wonder what goes on in Anna Wintour’s mind. (As a reminder, she once invited one of the Try Guys.)

Lectern Guy from the Insurrection

We could never forget Adam Johnson, the guy who stole the lectern during the Insurrection. He was sentenced to 75 days in jail in February, so he's probably out now if he was behaved well. It would be fun to see him there, with the lectern as his date in a little gown. He represents the Gilded Age of the Insurrection, of course. - Leah Finnegan, Editor-in-Chief

King Princess

Only if she dresses up in homage to those ancestors of hers who died on the Titanic.

Drop Dead Fred

Drop Dead Fred, the imaginary friend from the ‘90s film Drop Dead Fred, already has a perfect outfit for the Gilded theme; the outfit he wore to Charlie’s wine tasting party (if you remember that scene). So why not invite him? Charlie’s wine tasting party also revealed he has the sort of spunk necessary to bring a little excitement to a stuffy party stocked with dressed-up nobodies; something that could only help the party’s and Anna Wintour’s reputations. He could knock over appetizer trays, he could look under women’s skirts and do pop-out eyes in a way that is not necessarily appropriate but we’ll allow it due to the fact that he is imaginary, he could make Phoebe Cates sink a houseboat. He’d be so fun. - Kelly Conaboy, Senior Features Writer

The Ghost of the Woman Who Owned Taylor Swift’s Rhode Island House

Rebekah Harkness was a socialite in the first half of the 20th century who married the heir to the Standard Oil fortune and became the owner of a home in Watch Hill, Rhode Island. Many decades later Taylor Swift bought that house to throw Fourth of July parties. She also wrote the song “Last Great American Dynasty” about Harkness. Per the song, she was quite a kook, and I think her heavenly spirit would turn quite the look. She’s not technically of the right time period, but I expect we’ll be seeing lots of confusion from celebrities who can’t be bothered to do their homework, so it’s fine.

The Selling Sunset Twins, or Really Any Reality Show Twins

The Selling Sunset twins in high costumery would be i c o n i c. You might think their "colleague" Christine Quinn would be the best Netflix representative, but she has nearly unlimited resources and nothing to lose, so she'd go too hard. We'd be underwhelmed no matter what. The Oppenheim twins have those little gymnast bodies, and they could do something quite operatic in tandem. Everyone loves a matching outfit! The Property Brothers could also stun, especially if they invited their third to come along too to round out the look, the goth who lives in Las Vegas. - Claire Carusillo, Staff Features Writer

Zack

Remember Zack? He’s the guy who caught the Sunset Park subway shooter. It’s unclear if he ever got the $50,000 promised by the NYPD, so getting to attend the biggest party in New York could be something of a consolation prize.