An Update Regarding Sarah Jessica Parker's So-Called “Feud” With Kim Cattrall

I’m sorry to attempt to communicate over the noise. It’s just, the car alarms in your neighborhood are programmed to cry out for the duration of three hours when there is an update related to the so-called “feud” between Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall. It seemed like a useful upgrade at the time and I apologize for insisting on it. In any case, there is a new update, so please take a moment to perform your ceremonial scream.

[AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.]

Sarah Jessica Parker has spoken on the record at length for the first time in history about her fallout with her former Sex and the City coworker Kim Cattrall. Or at least for the first time since she spoke about it on Howard Stern, on Watch What Happens Live, and on Ellen. As you know, Cattrall has long claimed that her on-set relationship with the rest of the cast was not particularly sunny, which, combined with botched contract negotiations and what she deemed to be a sub-par script, led her to upend plans for a third Sex and the City movie, like we even needed one after that stinker of a second Sex and the City movie.

Because of Cattrall’s vocal refusal to participate in the third film, she says she was not asked to be part of the HBO revival And Just Like That... and found about it online with everyone else — a claim Sarah Jessica Parker now backs up in her interview with The Hollywood Reporter:

“We did not ask her to be part of this [And Just Like That…] because she made it clear that that wasn’t something she wanted to pursue, and it no longer felt comfortable for us, and so it didn’t occur to us. That’s not ‘slamming’ her, it’s just learning. You’ve got to listen to somebody, and if they’re publicly talking about something and it doesn’t suggest it’s some place they want to be, or a person they want to play, or an environment in which they want to be, you get to an age where you’re like, ‘Well, we hear that.'”

The majority of the interview finds Sarah Jessica Parker resisting the notion that there is a “feud” happening between her and Cattrall; something she claims is not accurate and instead a fabrication sustained by the ever-evil specter of the media.

“I’ve never uttered fighting words in my life about anybody that I’ve worked with ever. There is not a ‘fight’ going on,” Parker said. “There has been no public dispute or spat or conversations or allegations made by me or anybody on my behalf. I wouldn’t do it. That is not the way I would have it. So I just wish that they would stop calling this a ‘catfight’ or an ‘argument,’ because it doesn’t reflect actually— There has been one person talking.”

As for Cattrall’s claims that the rest of the ladies made her on-set experience an unhappy one, Parker says that’s not how she remembers it. “And, once again, it’s not for me to say that ‘you’re wrong,’ you know, ‘it was, for you, a great thing,’ I don’t know.” But she says that wasn’t her experience, nor was it Kristin Davis or Cynthia Nixon’s. “And I’ve spent a lot of years working really hard to always be decent to everybody on the set, to take care of people, to be responsible to and for people, both my employers and the people that I feel I’m responsible for as a producer of the show. And there just isn’t anyone else who’s ever talked about me this way, so it’s very painful.”

Does that sound like the sort of thing you believe when you hear somebody say it? That’s certainly not for me to comment on. I’m merely here to deliver you the news. It’ll be just about another two hours and 57 minutes before the car alarms shut off, so please spend the time thinking about Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall, and whose side you are on. Thank you.