The Last Days of 'Ellen': Ellen Confronts Pete Davidson’s Burning Flesh
Ellen is very confused by this
In honor of Ellen Degeneres’s show, The Ellen Degeneres Show, coming to an end after 19 years on May 26, we are chronicling its farewell season each week. These are the Last Days of Ellen.
If there’s one thing that Ellen is going to do, it’s have a Kardashian on her show. She loves those gals. Kim just made her sixteenth appearance on the show, which I think means she is overdue for a bespoke Ellen smoking jacket.
On today’s episode, Kim finally opened up about her relationship with Pete Davidson, whom she has been dating since last October. “As I say to you all the time, I just want you to be happy,” Ellen told the Skims mogul. “You deserve to be happy, and I’m happy that you’re happy. That’s all that matters.” This was about as effusive as Ellen got during this interview, because she was quickly disgusted by what happened next.
Our intrepid host took it upon herself to ask about what many people believed to be a tattoo on Davidson’s torso that reads “KIM.” However, the namesake of that romantic body modification quickly cleared up that it is actually so much worse.
“The Kim one isn’t a tattoo, it’s actually a branding… like a…” Kim trailed off and pantomimed what happens when someone stamps themselves with a piece of iron so hot it leaves a permanent scar. Someone in the audience audibly gasped, while everyone else was shocked into dead silence at this reveal. Let’s check the EllenCam for our girl’s reaction:
Her next instinct was to look offstage, perhaps searching for a producer to see if she had finally become the victim of the pranks she is so notoriously fond of.
But that was not the case, and Kim just kept talking. Luckily, Ellen snapped out of her horror-struck trance quickly enough to realize that Kardashian had mentioned more of Davidson’s tattoos.
“I think my favorite one, it says here: ‘My girl is a lawyer,’” Kim said, gesturing to her collarbone. While that statement is technically not yet true — Kim has only passed the baby bar exam and still has to pass the California bar — Ellen actually did think this one was cute. Can we cut back to the EllenCam?
“Wow, that’s amazing,” Ellen responded very sincerely, her genuine tone another reminder that I could never do her job.
Kim, likely realizing that she was losing the audience, tried to make the idea of her boyfriend of less than five months getting her name scarred onto him really romantic. “I don’t want to be able to get rid of it, or cover it up. I just wanted it there as a scar on me,” the reality star said her beau told her.
Ellen’s response? “Wow… I gotta think about this.” Unfortunately, Ellen, we all do.
