The Queen Blew Out Her Back 👀

Prince Philip died in April. After the death of her husband, Queen Elizabeth mourned; he was a friend, and she’d gotten used to his cold, skeletal countenance. But one cannot mourn forever. Life marches on, and we can either march along with it or be trampled underfoot. I bring you news today that it seems Queen Elizabeth has chosen the former.

The Queen has blown out her back.

According to a report from the BBC, the Queen missed a Remembrance Sunday service in London this past weekend. The palace had previously promised the Queen’s attendance at the service, saying it was her "firm intention" to be present. This promise came after the Queen was forced to take time away from other duties due to various health issues. Some even suspected she was longer among the living. But the stated cause of her absence this time seems to be a promising sign of life. Indeed, she “sprained her back,” (wink), and needed to rest at home.

Mmmhm.

We bet she did.

A palace statement released on Sunday said she made the decision to miss the service with “great regret.” Uh-huh. Don’t you worry about a thing, Queen. We’re all praying for you — to get it, girl.