The Queen Is Alive and Hopes to be Present

March 14 is Commonwealth Day in the old UK (Pi Day in America). Will the Queen be able to make it? “Queen Hopes to Attend Commonwealth Day Service With Royal Family,” the Independent reported. The key word here? “Hopes.” If she makes it, the celebration at Westminster Abbey will be the Queen’s first major public affair since she got rigor mortis, got Covid, died, regenerated, paid out $16 million to her son’s accuser, and got rehomed. Lil’ Lil has been through quite a bit, and the Independent is careful with its wording, seeming to recognize that 70-year-long reigns do eventually end.

But oh, oh, oh, Her Maj simply has to make it another five days because the Commonwealth-day service will feature “the world premiere of the musical piece Beacon of Brightest Light, inspired by the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, composed by Debbie Wiseman.”

Not since Drake penned “Independent Queen” (2016) has Lizzy had someone lusting after her in song form. We haven’t heard the song yet, but our royal insiders (I’m not not saying they’re interns at Hollywood Life) said it sounds a little something like this:

Also of note, according to the Independent: “During her meeting with Mr. Trudeau the head of state was not pictured with the walking stick she has been using of late and the pair shared a joke at the start of their meeting.”

Commonwealth Day without a stick is not really a Commonwealth Day. That’s like a platinum jubbly without a signature pudding. Just as the Queen is composer Debbie Wiseman’s muse in song form, the stick is the Queen’s. It’s the greatest love story ever told.

Feel better, girlie. I’ve never been more serious than when I say I hope to see you on March 14.