The Queen Was Living It Up — Until She Died

In a report from The Times, two different priests assured the public that they had spent time with Lilibet Sr. recently, and that despite being a 96-year-old woman who had worked for 70 years, her mind remained sharp — in fact, just days before her death, she was having the time of her life!

“It was a fantastic visit. Her memory was absolutely amazing and she was really full of fun,” said Right Reverend Dr. Iain Greenshields, who saw the Queen twice last weekend. I would show you a photo of Rt. Rev. Dr. Greenshields, but there are none available on Getty and the Times article is behind a paywall. You will just have to trust me when I say that I don’t know if we should be looking to him as an expert on fun.

“She was the life and soul of things,” he continued. “She was speaking very personally to me about her time there way back when she was a child, she was talking about her horses from the past, naming them from 40 years ago, people’s names and places. She was quite remarkable.”

That does sound like Liz. If we know one thing about her, it’s that she loved her horses. However, that is just kind of what grandmothers are like. They love to talk about things from a long time ago as if we were all there with them. I’m going to have to hear from a different religious man if I really want to believe that she was switched on about everything, current affairs and historical memories.

“She was absolutely switched on about everything, current affairs and historical memories,” Very Rev. Dr. Martin Fair told The Times, “She was on very good form.” Well fuck me, I guess.

Seems like the Queen could have destroyed on any of the U.K.’s one thousand quiz shows in the weeks before her passing. That we’ll never see her dazzling wit go head-to-head with James Acaster is a true shame.