Bill Cosby Packs Up Roofies Suitcase for 2023 Tour

Ah, a heartwarming story that just so happened to miss Christmas by a few days: Alleged (formerly convicted) rapist Bill Cosby, whom Variety calls “controversial” in the understatement of the year, has teased that he is eager to start touring next year. Well, phew. Glad this old fucker can get back on his feet and do what he loves most, besides allegedly raping, for an audience of people who don’t care that he allegedly rapes.

Cosby spoke to radio host Scott Spears on WGH Talk yesterday morning. Spears calls Cosby, “one of the most prolific people in the history of this country, and possibly — quite possibly — the world,” before introducing the comedian to “talk about his holiday season.” The two are obviously friendly, Spears fawning and pathetic, Cosby rambling his way through vague platitudes about how the young people in his life complain about doing homework but at least “they get to sit down” instead of breaking rocks on the side of the highway. Okay man.

Later in the brief interview, Cosby explains that he hopes to get back on tour early next year, I guess to make other thrilling observations about how doing homework is a privilege. “I feel that I will be able to perform and be the Bill Cosby that my audience knows me to be,” Cosby tells Spears, ignoring, perhaps, how much of his audience now knows him to be a sexual predator, if not complete monster.

Bleaker than Cosby’s proposed return to public life is Spears’s adoring silence in response to what amounts to little beyond an old man’s rambling. It’s one thing to “platform” Cosby so late in his career after he’s done so much harm, yet another lawsuit against him pending from allegations made in the ’80s and ’90s, but it’s quite another to sit by with audibly bated breath (that’s radio for you) and call him an “icon,” as Spears does. Well, at least Bill can probably count on selling one ticket, if Spears doesn’t ask for a comp.