The following is an interview in which Jaden Smith—son of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, brother of Willow—says that his goal in life is "to be the most craziest of all time." Everything he says previous to that statement will convince you that no human has ever conceived of a more achievable aspiration.

The interview comes from T Magazine, which is normally only the second most important magazine put out by the New York Times except for today when it is the most important publication on Earth.

There's nothing more I can say to prepare you for this interview.

Here are Jaden, 16, and Willow, 14, on "time"—not like, our concept of time, really, but their concept of time, which I promise you is much much much different:

I'm curious about your experience of time. Do you feel like life is moving really quickly? Is your music one way to sort of turn it over and reflect on it?

WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that's how I know it doesn't exist.

JADEN: It's proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It's relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it's also such a thing that you can get lost in.

WILLOW: Because living.

JADEN: Right, because you have to live. There's a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds, and you can talk and talk, but it's living.

WILLOW: It's the action of it.

Here is Willow on what her music is about:

WILLOW: And the feeling of being like, this is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made.

Willow is 14.

Here's Jaden on............................. I truly have no idea:

JADEN: Exactly. Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it's not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you're thinking about something happy, you're thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It's a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That's not a duality consciousness. And you can't listen to your mind in those times — it'll tell you what you think and also what other people think.

Here are Willow and Jaden on babies (which they know nothing about because of how they're babies themselves!!):

WILLOW: Breathing is meditation; life is a meditation. You have to breathe in order to live, so breathing is how you get in touch with the sacred space of your heart.

JADEN: When babies are born, their soft spots bump: It has, like, a heartbeat in it. That's because energy is coming through their body, up and down.

WILLOW: Prana energy.

JADEN: It's prana energy because they still breathe through their stomach. They remember. Babies remember.

WILLOW: When they're in the stomach, they're so aware, putting all their bones together, putting all their ligaments together. But they're shocked by this harsh world.

JADEN: By the chemicals and things, and then slowly…

WILLOW: As they grow up, they start losing.

JADEN: You know, they become just like us.

The rest of the interview is as insane as all of this. There's nothing more I can add to it. Please read the entire thing because these two children are both literally and figuratively our future. (That future will be much more interesting than the last future, which is the one where teen stars turned into Ryan Gosling.)

At the end of the interview is a typical New York Times disclaimer:

This interview has been edited and condensed.

Never has a statement been less sufficiently satisfying.

[image via Getty]