Fifth and Sixth Apocalypse Riders Busted in Snake-Throwing Onion Fight
It is foretold in Revelations that two men in the northern wilds of Saskatchewan, incensed over the preparation of a fast food breakfast sandwich, will procure a serpent from a jacket pocket and hurl it forcefully across the counter at an innocent employee.
In a somber tweet yesterday, the Saskatoon Police department revealed that at long last, the dark prophecy was fulfilled.
Two Charged With Snake Throwing http://t.co/35RsGZ4ppn
— Saskatoon Police (@SaskatoonPolice) December 8, 2014
According to a news release from the department, the men began fighting with a worker at the Tim Hortons on 22nd Street West about the onions on their sandwiches—they wanted them diced—when the snake was unleashed. They were promptly arrested for causing a disturbance. The Saskatoon Star Phoenix reports:
According to Saskatoon police, staff members "fled the store in fear" after the incident, which took place Monday around 7:30 a.m. at the Tim Hortons in the 600 block of 22nd Street West.
"I've never heard of a snake being thrown at an employee by a customer … It was definitely a little chaotic," said Saskatoon police spokeswoman Alyson Edwards.
"The staff was shocked and afraid and fled the store."
Staff told police that two male customers were arguing with an employee about their breakfast order – specifically that they wanted their onions diced. When the argument escalated, one of the men reached into the pocket of the other man, pulled out a garter snake and threw it behind the counter.
No one was injured, said police.
The snake, which was not venomous, earned the nickname "outlaw." Seemingly unaware of the dark forces at play, Saskatoon cops have been wringing the incident for all the publicity they can get:
Hey @TimHortons, how about naming a donut after this little guy?! He's made quite an impression.. #Outlaw #yxe pic.twitter.com/LJa9HAYMIH
— Saskatoon Police (@SaskatoonPolice) December 8, 2014
[Image via Saskatoon Police]