apocalypse
Killer Asteroid Coming Relatively Soon
Hamilton Nolan · 04/23/14 09:14AMThis Morning's Commute Was the Worst Commute of All Time
Sarah Hedgecock · 02/05/14 11:03AMWhy Visit Family When You Can Live in The World's First Floating City?
Max Rivlin-Nadler · 11/28/13 01:08PMThe Southern Water Wars Are Just Beginning
Hamilton Nolan · 10/02/13 10:52AMBrands Are People Now
Hamilton Nolan · 09/20/13 10:48AMDetroit Beset By Wild Dogs
Hamilton Nolan · 08/21/13 08:42AMJustin Bieber's Monkey Adjusts to New Life in Germany
Max Rivlin-Nadler · 06/29/13 02:53PMJustin Bieber's monkey, OG Mally, whose rejection by the pop singer and virtual exile to the depraved nation of Germany has captivated fans of both popular music and lesser primates, has begun to settle into his new adopted nation, perhaps finally ending a saga that has brought the watching world to a virtual stand-still.
No Biggie, But Our Nuclear Missile Launch Teams Are Incompetent
Hamilton Nolan · 05/08/13 09:02AMThis is not a "thing" that should distract anyone from their daily routine— in fact, it's probably best if you don't even read this and just continue on with your day in blissful ignorance— but, since we're here, we might as well mention that the Air Force guys in charge of launching our nation's apocalyptic nuclear missile arsenal are, like, totally incompetent.
A Discussion with Nathaniel Rich on His New Book Odds Against Tomorrow
Maggie Lange · 04/12/13 11:39AMNathaniel Rich's second novel, Odds Against Tomorrow, traces the life of Mitchell Zukor, a young mathematician obsessed with predicting apocalyptic natural disasters. After college he finds himself working for a secretive insurance firm in New York City, where his ability to predict these cataclysms becomes his job. After his predictions are realized, Zukor is proclaimed a prophet in this new world, ravaged by natural disasters.
Tom Scocca · 04/02/13 02:11PM
James Franco and Seth Rogen Survive Armageddon in the Aptly Titled Post-Apocalyptic Comedy This Is the End
Neetzan Zimmerman · 12/21/12 08:48AMEvan Goldberg and Seth Rogen, the dynamic screenwriting duo behind Superbad and Pineapple Express, reunite just in time for the End of Days to pen a post-apocalyptic comedy vehicle for their buddies.
You Know Who Doesn't Believe the World is Ending Tomorrow? The Maya
Neetzan Zimmerman · 12/20/12 02:10PM'Do You Want to Die Alone?' OK Cupid Asks in Email With Bizarre Obama Asteroid Cartoon
Max Read · 12/20/12 01:20PMMany people now, at this point, have forwarded us the email they received from online dating service OK Cupid (screen-shotted) above, which was sent out with the subject "do you want to die alone?" which would probably just barely fall on the side of "cute" if it weren't accompanied by a graphic of an asteroid emblazoned with President Obama's face hitting the earth, in the process ripping to shreds what appears to be a rather large copy of the U.S. constitution. Hmm.
Your Guide to the Mayan Apocalypse, the Secret Planet Nibiru, and the End of the World, Which Is Happening Tomorrow
Max Read · 12/20/12 12:35PMThe world is ending! Thirty-three schools in Michigan are closing "in part because the Mayan calendar predicts the world will end on Friday." The New York Post is trying to help a model have sex. And yet for some reason, you're at work, instead of your bunker/place of worship/celestial energy node. But that's because you knew that Gawker would help explain to you why the world isn't ending tomorrow, and why everyone else thinks it is.
The Co-Prophet of the End Times Has Written Mitt Romney a New Campaign Jingle
Louis Peitzman · 07/23/12 07:28PM
William Tapley is a lot of things: "Third Eagle of the Apocalypse," "Co Prophet of the End Times," and talented songwriter.
Bees Are the New Terrorists: We Must Launch a War on Bees
Hamilton Nolan · 06/28/12 08:31AMSea to Swallow California
Hamilton Nolan · 06/25/12 08:50AMAmerica's Remaining Wealth All Stashed in Bedroom Safes
Hamilton Nolan · 05/03/12 10:45AMThe recent global economic collapse combined with the cravenness of the banking industry and the general cheez-brained of the American public have made it all but inevitable that eventually the general public would simply start hoarding their few remaining valuables in iron boxes built into their bedframes and/ or outhouses. Some in the safe industry are "reporting sales increases of as much as 40 percent from a few years ago." But what are you people keeping in there?
Preparing for Our Waterless Future
Hamilton Nolan · 03/23/12 01:10PMNot to alarm you, at all, but in the near future our globe will be a hive of warring city-states in which armies driven mad by thirst slaughter one another over the final trickles of our parched world's last dying streams. That's what the government thinks, at least. Are you ready? You better get ready, my friends.