Florida is Being Overrun By Herpes-Infected Monkeys
A colony of Herpes-infected Rhesus monkeys, flinging their feces and viral loads through Florida, now pose an official public health threat to the Sunshine State.
Like a Jurassic-Park-with-Herpes sequel, three pairs of the monkeys were first brought to Silver River State Park in the 1930s, where the population quickly multiplied into the thousands.
But at the time, the monkeys were trapped on an island, content to contract and spread their monkey Herpes in isolation.
Now, the monkeys have taught themselves to swim and authorities have spotted them hundreds of miles away near Jacksonville, threatening the health of nearby non-monkey-Herpes-infected human communities.
Monkeys usually experience no symptoms from the viral strain, Herpes B, which can cause increased sensitivity to stimulation, muscle control issues, double vision, agitation, ascending flaccid paralysis, and death in humans.
