Fox News: “Buy Every Lottery Ticket You Can Afford”
Some Gawker writers would tell you that you’re probably not going to win the lottery. But that doesn’t mean that someone, somewhere, someday isn’t going to become disgustingly rich. And Fox News wants you to remind you that maybe—if you spend all your money on all the lottery tickets you possibly can—that disgusting person could be you.
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In light of the (maybe rigged!) Powerball lottery quickly accumulating more and more cash, Fox and Friends hosted seven-time lottery winner Richard Lustig this past weekend so he could share his secrets with the world at-large.
And to his credit, Lustig does start out with some relatively sound advice, telling us that “there is no last-minute, one particular thing that you can do to increase your chances of winning.” Finally, some reason! Thanks for coming on, Richard, you’ve been great—“Except,” he goes on.
Oh no.
“And this is going to sound bad,” he continues.
No, Richard, please.
“But it’s the only answer.”
Richard, I swear to god.
“Buy as many tickets as you can afford.”
Richard—you son of a bitch.
Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com. Screencap via Fox News.