A couple weeks ago, Kate Middleton's father, Michael Middleton, gathered up his daughter, son-in-law, grandson, and a couple dogs he knew, and bade them come out into the harsh August sunlight for an informal photo session in his garden. The resulting pictures were great by family photo standards: no one was sneezing; most people's eyes were open; there was nary a bunny ear to be seen.

Then, the family decided to release the images as Prince George's first official portraits.

(Poppop took a couple cute pictures out back; let's put them on the cover of every newspaper in the Western Hemisphere.)

People lost their shit.

For every person who observed GREAT PIC; EVERYONE SMILING; I LOVE DOGS, there were two more who bemoaned the fact that Michael Middleton had shot into the light; that the family had been photographed in the dull shade of a tree; that baby George looked like a spooky wax doll. Lots of newspapers published versions of the images that had been Photoshopped to correct the lighting. Royalists compared it unfavorably to Prince William's first portrait (taken by a professional photographer), which featured a prominent pinky ring.

Click the numbers below the picture for a point-by-point analysis of where Michael Middleton went wrong. (If you catch anything we missed, please add it.)

[Image via Clarence House]