Horny Nudist Has No Regrets About Balls-Out Drunken Subway Ride
Ed Haines had no idea he'd ridden the E Train wearing nothing but a pair of cross-trainers and tube socks until he saw himself on the cover of the New York Post.
The 40-year-old, who is homeless, told the Post that on November 6, the day of his jaunt, he'd gotten drunk and gotten naked, but had no memory of getting on the train. His evening ended in the hospital. Then, on Saturday, "I saw it in the Post and knew I had been naked," he said.
Haines makes a habit of going nude in public—"I like to be naked. It turns me on," he told The Post—so it was no big surprise when he saw himself on the paper's cover. When confronted with a picture of himself naked on a park bench, the nudist was similarly nonplussed.
Meanwhile, a photo of him sitting naked on a bench in Madison Square Park surfaced Saturday.
"That could have been anytime," he said of the park picture, adding that he gets naked "a lot."
Revealed: Naked subway guy is also naked park bench guy http://t.co/PGP3f0952I pic.twitter.com/OsobUoDj2r
— Connor Ryan (@connortryan) November 9, 2014
Haines might have been the most notable naked person of the month—in New York, at least—were it not for a certain internet-breaking casual gaming mogul. He is, he told the Post, a little jealous of Kim K:"I wish I could get naked like that."