Ed Haines had no idea he'd ridden the E Train wearing nothing but a pair of cross-trainers and tube socks until he saw himself on the cover of the New York Post.

Looks like Paper mag's big "break the internet" plan was simple: full-frontal Kim Kardashian. (Sadly her naked photos failed to break the internet on previous attempts, but maybe this time will be different.) Anyway, the very NSFW shots are certainly befitting of a Vogue cover model and Kanye is probably very proud.

Police have reported that an intruder broke into a couple's home in Albuquerque, N.M. on Sunday evening, put back a big ole bottle of Sprite, then got naked. The couple allegedly found the trespassing hero asleep in their bed, like some blissful adult male Goldilocks.

Guys! We have a problem that you could maybe help with, but it's related to a problem that Jane Pratt has that you also may be able to help with, so let's focus on that first: The Sassy/Jane/xoJane boss is going to be photographed nude tomorrow and she's not exactly sure how to go about it.

On Monday night, Dennis Rodman celebrated his 52nd birthday at Cheetahs, a gentleman’s club in Times Square. One press release advertised the event, part of an extended birthday tour, as “a no-holds barred birthday with topless dancers, thongs, and naked sushi.” Another cheekily teased that the NBA Hall of Famer might bring along a certain famously despotic guest, one Kim Jong-un, so that "maybe the Cheetah Strippers and Rodman can secure what our government has failed to do."

Artist John Currin painted this portrait (which Bea didn't model for) of the late, great Golden Girl in 1991. The New Yorker referred to it as part of a series by Currin that featured "acrid fantasy portraits of menopausal women." I think it's quite beautiful.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Yesterday, all by ourselves, without no inspiration whatsoever, we brought you the 19 Most Powerful Images of 2012. But we have to ask: was 2012 about "inspiring," "powerful" images? Or was it about celebrity nude photos naked nude sex tape topless? Looking back across the year, we can say, definitely, 2012's biggest story was nude topless celebrities download here for sex tapes.

Dear Abby is a very famous advice column that's been published since the ‘50s. Pauline Phillips founded it under the pen name Abigail Van Buren; her daughter Jeanne Phillips took over the column after her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. This Abby, it seems, can be a bit of a hippie.

Here's an artsy naked photo of Vimeo founder Jake Lodwick and his wife, choreographer and dancer Robin Cantrell.

This month, Vanity Fair's neverending quest to reanimate the corpse of Marilyn Monroe takes the form of "never-before-published pictures" of Monroe. Billed as "The Lost Nudes" on the magazine's cover, the images are outtakes of photos that appeared twice in Playboy—and now Playboy is irate at the suggestion that the photos were "lost."

Are you a naked person, or a clothed person? I am a clothed person. Aviva Rubin of Times parenting blog Motherlode is a naked person. Her kids? They're still figuring it all out. Take her, uh, 12-year-old:

Lindsay Lohan's much-discussed "boobs, ass, and vag" Playboy photoshoot has leaked online in its entirety (NSFW link) and it's a massive letdown. First, there is no "vag." Second, they photoshopped out her freckles and tattoos, which is a pretty significant change; we aren't looking at Lindsay, but a Lindsay-shaped work of graphic art. Third, this is just the poor man's version of her other nude Marilyn Monroe photoshoot, which appeared in New York in 2008.

Mercede Johnston—of the naked Wasilla Johnstons—bares her butt, boobs, and the Palin family's secrets in next month's Playboy.

There is a limit to how close cosplay can get to foreplay at Comic Con. Nerd babe and America's Next Top Model winner Adrianne Curry says she got kicked out for showing an "illegal" amount of butt cheek. She had to tie a shirt around her waist to get back in. Meanwhile, this completely naked NSFW Daenerys (is that a mistletoe above her crotch? dragon?) perseveres. Comic Con: Getting closer to a live action fetish porno everyday. [Superficial, @AdrianneCurry, images via Bauer-Griffin]

On Friday, the new owners of the Resorts Casino Hotel officially revealed their innovative marketing strategy to stimulate business and make the local townsfolk proud: fill up the place with scantily clad ladies, put on some naked circus shows, and improve the noodle bar.

According to a poll by Playboy, roughly a quarter of Americans say they have been photographed or filmed nude. Contrary to the vast majority of anti-sexting PSAs, men apparently do it more often:

Of all terrible naked pregnant poses, man hand bra is my least favorite. The problem is that, when a man puts his hands on his wife's tits, he automatically makes a grabbing motion. See how Nick's fingers are tensed, his thumbs outstretched and gripping? That is the source of the awkwardness. This is not an elegant nude. This is a virile man getting to second base with a lady he recently knocked up.

Toronto alt weekly NOW accompanied a story about Mayor Rob Ford's "naked ambition" with nearly-nude photo illustrations of the politician. (Ford's opponents Other politicians are portrayed as nearly-nude bodybuilders.) The morning the issue came out, the Toronto Star reports, the mayor's office launched a campaign to "remove and dispose":

You heard us—naked therapy. Sarah White—who's not a licensed therapist, by the way—undresses down to her bare skin during her regular therapy sessions. Why? Because sexuality is at the root of most of her client's problems.