If You Even Think About Joining Al Qaeda, Lindsey Graham Will Kill You
South Carolina Senator and sentient mint julep Lindsey Graham is busy running around hinting coyly at a “big announcement” he has coming up on June 1. But he managed to find some time to let a group of Iowa republicans know that, should any of them even think about joining ISIS, Lindsey Graham will find them, and he will kill them.
In the Senator’s own words:
If I’m President of the United States and you’re thinking about joining Al Qaeda or ISIL—anybody thinking about that?—I’m not going to call a judge, I’m going to call a drone, and we will kill you. *laughs*
The hawkish message was likely an attempt to distance himself from his war-weary competitor, Rand Paul, who, as NPR points out, has been telling voters, “I want to catch terrorists, but I also want to protect the constitution.”
Graham also took this as a chance to weigh in on the Iraq war of his own accord. Because while his future fellow running mates have all been tripping over themselves to place blame on the intelligence community, Graham has other ideas.
When it comes to blaming people about Iraq, the person I blame is Barack Obama, not George W. Bush.
Sure, why not.
Anyway, here’s Lindsey Graham talking about cookies.
