Republican Senator Lindsey Graham met with Egyptian President Abdel-Fatah el-Sissi on Sunday to discuss, naturally, the looming possibility of a Donald Trump presidency. Graham was in Egypt as part of a Republican congressional delegation touring the Middle East, a region his party’s presidential frontrunner believes would be better served if Saddam Hussein and Muammar Gaddafi were still around. Speaking to reporters after his meeting with el-Sissi, Graham said he reassured the Egyptian president that even if Trump won the presidency, the Egyptian people have nothing to worry about.

Republicans are no longer in denial over Donald Trump’s hostile takeover of their party; how could they be? They are certainly angry—how could they not be?—but after Trump rolled through Super Tuesday practically unabated, the GOP establishment has entered the third stage of grief: bargaining.

Last quarter, the Lindsey Graham campaign spent $44.17 at Hooters.

Lindsey Graham, senator from South Carolina, announced this morning that he is “suspending my campaign for President.” It is a suspension the rest of us can safely assume is permanent.

“The first thing I would do would be make adjustments to reality,” Senator Lindsey Graham said in response to a question about whether he would support immigration reform again. Vampires are certainly powerful but this seems like an overstatement.

Lindsey “Still Exists” Graham may finally be getting the picture about his past-dead presidential ambitions.

Hawk’s hawk’s hawk’s hawk’s hawk Lindsey Graham intends to propose an authorization for the use of military force that would allow the U.S. President to wage unlimited war against ISIS, world without end. Total war. Because this has never been a bad idea.

After getting booted from yesterday’s debates for his low numbers, South Carolina Senator and seersucker suit come-to-life Lindsey Graham (who is currently polling at a solid 0.0%) decided to do what any of us do in the face of rejection: Get drunk and whine to our friends on social media. And since Graham’s BFF is none other than Senator John McCain—whose former spokesman just so happened to have recently released Sidewire, a sort of Twitter knock-off—Graham was free to let loose. Because absolutely no one else knows it exists.

The undercard to tonight’s GOP debate was a roundly depressing affair, as the seven runners-up wheezed hot, foul air into an empty basketball arena in Cleveland. But no moment was quite as sad, nor more human, than when Lindsey Graham took a moment to reflect on his lonely life.

Have you ever wanted to shoot the shit with sentient mint julep and South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham? Probably not—he’s awful! But just in case you want to give him a piece of your mind, ever-worse-human and godsend to the Republican primaries Donald Trump just read off his phone number in public.

Busting the spectre of communism is hard enough without your boys ragging you for still being single. But still, alleged presidential candidate and Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) must endure moments like the one today when a colleague’s quip about Graham’s luck with the “hoes” got picked up on a nearby mic.

Senator Lindsey Graham (R-John McCain’s sad shadow), a man loathed by conservatives for supporting immigration reform and loathed by non-conservatives for supporting all wars everywhere forever, is running for president. CNN reports that Graham “hopes that his track record on foreign affairs will give him the advantage in a wide-open primary fight.”

South Carolina Senator and sentient mint julep Lindsey Graham is busy running around hinting coyly at a “big announcement” he has coming up on June 1. But he managed to find some time to let a group of Iowa republicans know that, should any of them even think about joining ISIS, Lindsey Graham will find them, and he will kill them.

South Carolina Senator and anthropomorphized seersucker suit Lindsey Graham will reportedly be announcing his bid for the presidency on June 1. He will be joining the 753 other Republican candidates currently in the running.

Not only does Republican Lindsey Graham claim not to have had a private email address—unlike Hillary Clinton—during his tenure in Congress, he also claims to have never sent an email. Ever. At all.

In a recording leaked to CNN, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham made a great "joke" at an event for an organization that's exclusively made up of white guys. "I'm trying to help you with your tax status. I'm sorry the government's so fucked up. If I get to be president, white men in male-only clubs are going to do great in my presidency." Haha!

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham is one of the loudest voices of the Republican Party’s Benghazi conspiracy faction. According to Joe Hagan of New York magazine, Graham’s commitment to circulating rumors about the incident prompted 60 Minutes correspondent Lara Logan to consult the senator on what really happened during the September 2012 attacks in Benghazi, Libya. It didn’t go so well.

While waiting for bomber facts, Sen. Lindsey Graham has one hand in his pants, dreaming of domestic drones and Gitmo.

Try as Republican leaders might to foreground as many minority party members as they can find, the lack of racial diversity in the GOP is evident, and at least one prominent Republican lawmaker is becoming increasingly concerned.