Jared Leto's Allegedly Enormous Penis Makes a Public Appearance
According to sources who claim to be close to Jared Leto's dick, Jared Leto's dick is very large, as human dicks go, and shaped like the plumed helmet of an elite Roman guard. Although this classic American genital folktale hasn't been independently confirmed, Leto entered some new evidence into the Case of Is Jared Leto's Dick Big at a recent 30 Seconds to Mars Show.
During his band's set in Toronto on Aug. 24, Leto was seen manipulating a sizeable dick-esque object beneath his shorts—very likely, as DListed eloquently terms it, "his prostate-busting, foot long torta with extra jamón."
Without entirely ruling out the possibility of a calculated peen-spiracy, Occam's Razor suggests that the actor/singer is indeed blessed with a humongous ancient Roman ham-pastry, but we still have yet to see it onscreen or in photos.
A sketchy, likely fake photo circulating online since 2012, purportedly taken by sleazy photographer Terry Richardson, claims to show Leto's penis in all its naked glory. It's immediately suspicious in that Leto's face isn't visible, and the image also doesn't appear in Richardson's many sets of Jared Leto snaps.
Emails to Leto's publicist and to Richardson requesting comment on the photo went unreturned, so all we can confirm is that there's a photo of someone's big dick on the internet. And that Jared Leto grabbed something in his pants at least one time last month. And it was kind of hot.