Louisiana-born rapper and cousin-fucker Kevin Gates took to Instagram to discuss his problems with women on Tuesday, namely, their steadfast refusal to fellate his literal (as in "woof woof") dog.

"I hope you didn't think I got in bed with you just to lay down with you," said Gates, presumably addressing one dog dick-abstainer in particular. "Bitch, you can call Uber for all I care. Ho talkin' about, 'I'm not about to suck no dog dick, that's a dog!'"

"Ho, you can call him what you want, but he loyal," continued Gates, adding, "I don't get tired," the title of his 2014 single that, it now seems, might secretly be about convincing women to suck off dogs.

Gates wan't done, however, offering this message to his bestiality-averse critics: "I wouldn't even let my dog smell your pussy."

Of course, it's possible Gates was joking about the whole dog-fucking business, which—would be better, I guess?

[Image via YouTube]