Miley Cyrus Rides Blow-Up Dick, Tells Rape Joke at London Gay Club
Fans were reportedly "shocked" that singer Miley Cyrus, who spent Friday night at a London gay club riding an inflatable penis and telling her ex-boyfriend to "suck my fat cock," also managed to work a joke about date rape into her busy schedule.
Miley's Friday secret show at G-A-Y offered something for everyone: For the fans, "Wrecking Ball." For the gossip press, a rant about how she'll always love Liam Hemsworth, but he can suck her "fat cock." For people who love giant inflatable dicks, a giant inflatable dick. And for anyone who needed another reason to dislike Miley Cyrus, a casual date rape joke.
"Everyone's a little bit gay, that's the truth" she said, with a drink in hand, "All it takes is one cocktail. And if that doesn't work, sprinkle something in their drink. That's what I always do."
Oh, artist-formerly-known-as-Hannah-Montana. Look at your life, look at your choices.
Miley went on to deliver a totally sober rant about ex-fiancé and fortunate bullet-dodger Liam Hemsworth. "The best kind of revenge is to write a number one song about it," said the singer who does not have a writing credit on "Wrecking Ball."
She continued:
... and every time you get in your car, you're going to hear my fucking song on the fucking radio, you piece of shit. That's right. And then I'm gonna take all my clothes off, I'm gonna sit on a big, giant dick—sometimes two—I'm gonna swing around, and then I'm gonna hold the record for the most-watched music video on Vevo. So then—you know, you can tell a lot about a person—I think you can tell how big their cock is by how much confidence they have usually, and if I was a dude I'd probably have a really big cock, 'cause I feel really good about myself now. So I'm gonna tell those motherfuckers that broke my heart, particularly one, to suck my fat cock and to enjoy hearing this song for the rest of your life. This song is called Wrecking Ball.
Somewhere, far away from Miley Cyrus and humongous inflatable dicks, Hemsworth felt an involuntary chill pass through his body, as if a dark cloud hanging over him had suddenly lifted, and went right on living his life.
