There is a beautiful world right outside of your door; the only question is: Are you willing to explore it? Yes, it’s the beautiful world of NFTs; a new craze that has entranced the likes of Paris Hilton, Jimmy Fallon, Gwyneth Paltrow, and that one acquaintance of yours. So tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious chance to get in on NFT ownership? A bit of knowledge from an expert might help you on your journey, so let’s get started.

Okay, so hold on — what does NFT even stand for?

No worries at all, my friend. As with all pursuits, one must begin as a beginner. NFT stands for “non-fungible token.”

So they are non-fungible tokens?

Exactly right. Let’s break it down. Long after most subway systems had converted to swipe-based entry, passengers of the Philadelphia subway system still needed to purchase a $2 token to take a ride. It seems the city only phased out the token system in 2018. This non-fungible “token” system, however, still persists (in Philadelphia and beyond).

I think I’m getting it! So, how do I purchase an NFT?

As with all things monetary, money is involved. But what is money? Well, that’s another question altogether! For the sake of this explainer though, all you need to know is: NFTs is money, and money is NFTs. It’s a bit like dance; you should try to focus more on the rhythm than the steps.

Got it. And what’s all this talk about the “blockchain”?

It’s actually not my job to explain that. :)

LOL. Sorry! So, is there anything else I need to know before I jump into the world of NFTs?

You might also want to focus on art. Life is richer and more vibrant when one takes note of the art that exists all around us. From the sun shining through leaves on a tree, to a beloved old painting in a museum; art is everywhere, including in NFTs. And would you mind if I asked you a question?

Go ahead!

Thank you. I guess if I had one question it would just be, do you think we’re going to have to know about NFTs for much longer?

I’m not sure. What do you think? :)

It’s not really something I’m feeling happy about. But to answer your question, I’m not sure either. I can’t imagine having to hear about NFTs for the rest of my life, but if they’re a mechanism by which wealthy people are gaining wealth, I can’t imagine those wealthy people are going to give up on attempting to make them an everyday part of our existence. It makes me uneasy. If I can be honest with you, I don’t understand what they are and I never want to understand what they are. I desperately hope they’re phased out before I have to learn.

You don’t understand what NFTs are?

No.

Well, I can help you with that! :) They’re a unique digital—

No, I don’t want to know.

I think it might help to explain the Ethereum blockchain—

Please. The knowledge of NFT is not something that I can take on right now. It’s not a burden I see myself ever being able to shoulder. I can’t know about it. And I will admit there is a tiny, nagging part of me that thinks if only I learned a bit about NFTs — how to buy them, what they are — that I could make money from buying and selling an NFT. Maybe enough money to buy a house. It seems there are people gaining large amounts of money through buying and selling these bits of nothing, and there is a part of me that wants that free money, badly. It’s terrifying to think of who I might be if that if that part of who I am were more pronounced.

Sounds like who you might be is … rich :)

No. You are evil. Please leave me alone.

What do you think your ape would look like? :) If you could design the perfect one for you?

Please stop.

There’s also NFTs that’s a Beeple :)

I need to know less than this.

And there’s one? :) … that’s a Gucci Ghost.

I genuinely need you to stop.

And what if I told you there was one … that’s penguins? ;)

I’m sorry, I know this is my job and I don’t mean to be unprofessional, but I can’t do this. Thank you so much for your time.

But what if … they’re nazis? :-0

STOP.