Subway Shooting Suspect Found By Guy Named Zack

The New York City Police Department has finally nabbed Frank James, the alleged homicidal maniac who shot ten people and left 19 more injured in an attack on the subway on Tuesday morning, according to the New York Post. The denizens of NYC can finally exhale following the apprehension of James, and pivot from heartache to celebration in honor of New York’s finest. Apparently James, who evaded capture for 30 hours, is a criminal mastermind and gave the boys in blue quite a run for their money.

Here’s what we know about James:

• He is 62 years old
• He ambled at about one mile per hour with a rolly backpack with the cadence of the mighty Galapagos Giant Tortoise
• He was unable to operate a subway turnstile
• He is a YouTuber
• He said, “Oops, my bad” to one of his victims after opening a gas canister, pulling out an axe, and then dropping it to the floor
• He purchased a MetroCard with his own credit card, which he left at the scene, alongside the keys to his rented UHaul
• He continued riding the subway unnoticed until at least 6 p.m. yesterday
• He was apparently only apprehended while actively attempting to stab someone.

As you can see, this bulleted list shows just how difficult a criminal James was to catch. Posing myriad challenges to law enforcement, NYPD was not able to apprehend him without the intervention of a citizen — some guy named Zack. Thank you, Zack.