NJ Residents: Fuck Animals Now While You Have the Chance
The New Jersey legislature is preparing to ban bestiality in this year of our Lord, 2014. State residents, if your thing is dolphins, cows, whatever — the clock's ticking.
The bill was (unanimously!) approved by the Assembly Judiciary Committee yesterday and will now be put to the full Assembly. According to the Star-Ledger, it was suggested by an intern.
Assemblyman Jack Ciattarelli regrets not coming up with the idea to ban fucking animals himself. "I wish I could take credit for the bill but I cannot," he said yesterday.
The intern who suggested the bill was likely concerned about a high-profile 2009 case in which an alleged cow molester walked free under the state's lax animal cruelty laws. Cow guy won't be so lucky next time, if the state Senate even bothers to bring up a partner bill. Which, so far, it has not.
If the legislature does manage to get this thing done, animal lovers should just retire to Florida. Bestiality is totally still legal there.
