Photo: Flickr

Today, the FDA announced that food companies will soon be required to list “added sugars” on nutritional labels. Stop adding so much sugar, to everything!!!

The main reason that Americans are obese, besides the fact that doing burpees in public is still considered to be “weird,” is that every last god damn packaged food product in the grocery store is stuffed full of added sugar. We could discuss the reasons for this—corn subsidies, crooked politics, the use of the scientific method to engineer artificial food products that are no less poisonous addictions than smoking, food deserts, poverty—but suffice it to say that the widespread practice of zealously pouring high fructose corn syrup into any food product that can absorb it has an incredibly bad effect on America’s aggregate health. For no good reason!

Yogurt is good without tasting like pudding. We don’t need sugar in our relish. Stop it.

It remains outside of our government’s powers (for the moment) to hoist big food company executives up by their wrists, force a funnel down their throat, and fill them with corn syrup until they turn into human foie gras. Until then, these food labels—which, of course, have been strongly opposed by the food industry itself—are a very good start on the path to making the general public realize that the majority of things they are being sold are poison.

Only eat nuts and drink water until we can get all that sugar out of the other food. It’s okay to eat Zebra Cakes as treat too.