Orange You Glad Glenn Beck Coated Himself in Cheeto Dust
Sitting in a harshly lit anteroom, you watch a doomsday prophet don a pair of dark goggles. He leads three sycophants in some vulgar ceremony, dipping his face into a vessel of synthetic orange powder and instructing the servants to do the same. Is that Cheeto dust? You pinch yourself and flail, desperate to wake up, but this is no nightmare. This is yesterday’s episode of The Glenn Beck Program, hosted by Glenn Beck.
On the show, Beck and three people who haven’t been laid off yet proposed a “funny” “joke” at Donald Trump’s expense. Trump is so orange, they said you’d have to cover yourself in crushed up Cheetos to make yourself look like him. To test the theory, they performed the “Cheetos Challenge” themselves.
As far as I can tell, there are four main problems with this segment. The first one is dermatological: Aren’t these guys worried about clogging their pores? Don’t they know anything about exfoliating?
The second, as Right Wing Watch points out, is that Glenn Beck is pretty darn orange himself.
This was Glenn Beck on his TV show earlier this week, before he began mocking Trump for being unnaturally orange: pic.twitter.com/kqXZStlgBw
— Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) April 29, 2016
The third is that people who mock Donald Trump usually do it because of his outlandish views, his blustery personality, his support for right-wing policies. Glenn Beck recently cried in front of a live audience about secular footsoldiers “coming for” religious people, comparing the times we’re living in now to the eve of the Holocaust. If Donald Trump is a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto®, Glenn Beck is a Fiery Doritos® Locos Taco Supreme.
Finally, a certain glowing beverage was noticeably absent from the proceedings. As Glenn Beck should certainly know, you can’t have Cheetos without Mountain Dew.
[There was a video here]