Failed party planner Pippa Middleton crawled out of her sister's dungeon yesterday long enough to cry "scuse me, did somebody say butts?" In a very rude column for The Spectator, Pips wrote about Kim Kardashian's ass, because, I guess, Pippa herself wore a butt to a wedding that one time.

There's no structure to the column really, just Pips blabbing on about what's happening in her life. She first announces that "a few days ago I went truffle hunting in Piedmont," and then, "I've just passed my Wine and Spirit Education Trust (WSET) advanced wine exam with distinction." As a sort-of "kicker," she decides to talk about Kim.

"No year is complete without a bottom story, and the 'Rear of 2014' award undoubtedly goes to Kim Kardashian, after her posterior exploded all over the internet last month," she writes. Pippa, you may recall, was once awarded the "Rear of 2011" award by the Daily Mail. She continues:

I must say that mine—though it has enjoyed fleeting fame—is not comparable. But the Kim butt story did make me pause. What is it with this American booty culture? It seems to me to be a form of obsession. Kim's aim, apparently, was to break the internet, but I'm not sure she's going the right way about it.

I'm not sure Pippa's gone the right way about capitalizing on her own 15 seconds of butt, but let's not split hairs.

[Photo via Getty]