What the hell is going on this video? First we see an adult human ass peeking through a hole in a wall, so perfectly chiseled that you wonder for a moment whether it doesn't belong to a department-store mannequin. Then the mallets come out, and the men start swinging.

Samela and Pedro Hernandez pleaded guilty this week to illegally practicing medicine out of their South Florida home without licenses. The duo were providing "touch up" butt injections to patients, mostly women, who have undergone posterior enhancement surgery overseas.

Failed party planner Pippa Middleton crawled out of her sister's dungeon yesterday long enough to cry "scuse me, did somebody say butts?" In a very rude column for The Spectator, Pips wrote about Kim Kardashian's ass, because, I guess, Pippa herself wore a butt to a wedding that one time.

In the proud artistic tradition of Kim Kardashian shitting hot ass diarrhea from a Keurig machine, here is Kim Kardashian shitting cold ass snow from a snowblower.

I really like Kim Kardashian. I usually have nothing but disdain for celebrities, or celebrities in training. There is not a thing less interesting, or useful in the world, than an "artist" of dubious talent who has risen to fleeting fame because of sex connections, family connections, or money connections. But I think Kim is great. Here's why: She asks nothing of her fans. She's not all like: Download my new .mp3! Or: Sit through my new three-hour movie about the end of earth and how we all have to eat corn now! She hawks no talent. She knows what her best asset is, and she plays it up. She has a truly remarkable butt, so she showed it naked on the cover of Paper. Why go through the trouble of being a "singer" or an "actress" when you can just be a butt? Kim knows.

Glee "star" Naya Rivera posted a straight-up rude comment on Kim Kardashian's Instagram of her bare-ass Paper cover on Tuesday. She is not sorry for that comment.

Anthony Ray, aka Sir-Mix-A-Lot, has finally weighed in on the culture's recent bout of booty mania. And thank God he has.

Kim Kardashian's Paper cover, centered on her bare, oiled-up ass, threatened to break the internet. Well, Chelsea Handler's butt can make threats, too. It's on Instagram right now, threatening to be seen by you.

Noted Kim Kardashian wannabe Naya Rivera (of Glee "fame") possibly trashed Kim on Instagram last night because eh, who knows. She pulled the Mom Card. If screenshots are to be believed, Naya commented this on Kim's pic of her naked Paper cover:

On Thursday, a 24-year-old London woman died on a Bangkok operating table during a follow-up to an (already terrifying-sounding) butt augmentation surgery.

The photo above shows a pair of underwear wedged between a man's asscheeks. But for one magical night, dozens of enthusiastic masturbators believed they were looking at a woman's alluring cleavage.

As the Summer of Butts fades into golden autumn, a Bronx-born single mother has released her own "viral" butt YouTube in the hopes of capitalizing on a trend sweeping the nation like a butt abruptly dropped very low and skimmed lightly over a dance floor (or regular floor).

For Fashion Week, Vogue took Nicki Minaj backstage to teach Alexander Wang models the "Anaconda" dance. The footage proves once and for all that Kate Upton is the exception, not the rule. Models can't twerk.

There is no "take"; there are only butts.

On Friday, Indiana's Vanderburgh County Jail welcomed Terrence J. Lewis, a 32-year-old man who was wanted for attempted murder. Things quickly turned butt-farty.

Your best friend, Jennifer Lawrence, has an email address with the word "butt" in it. Of course she does, because she's a cool girl who checks out John Stamos' ass and has a well-organized collection of butt plugs.

Sarah Massey would be just another 33-year-old mother-of-two from Chicago — if it weren't for the fact that she also happens to have the world's biggest butt.

You've got a bunch of permanent markers, five lines, and a serious craving for drawing a great butt. Now what?

"Slow your roll," American booty-wipers: have you been feeling a bit light in the tush, lately? You sure have. Because Big Toilet Paper is engaged in a systematic program of giving you less for your money.

It's a Tuesday night in late July. New York City's bones feel hollow. Even the Internet is running dry. You tried Williamsburg, but the women all seem to be away, off somewhere you can't see, in bikinis. So what's a thirtysomething East Village man—one with an extremely specific urge involving star tattoos and chunky glasses and a playfully defiant glimpse of a tauntingly bare "female hipster" ass—supposed to do?