Congrats to the ‘Beloved’-Hating Mother and Her Pussy Son on Their Big Win
Hope this cured his night terrors.
Can you hear that? Why — I believe it’s Laura Murphy attempting to coax her 27-year-old son out from under his covers so that she might tell him the good news. “Baby ... it’s a brand new day,” she’s cooing. “My sweet boy, the great Glenn Youngkin has taken power. Please, stop shaking! Toni Morrison can’t frighten you anymore!”
Yes, all of Laura Murphy’s dreams for her pussy son are coming true this week. In 2013, the blonde mother attempted to achieve a ban on Toni Morrison’s Pulitzer Prize-wining novel Beloved in her son’s school district. Her crusade began after the then-high school senior was tasked with reading the novel in his A.P. English class. In a 2013 Washington Post story detailing Murphy’s campaign, Blake Murphy (the son) recalled having “night terrors” after reading the book before beddy bye. “It was disgusting and gross,” he said. “It was hard for me to handle. I gave up on it.”
And of course we all feel very sad for the terrified man (who now, according to Slate, works for the National Republican Congressional Committee) about his very scary experience reading a disgusting and gross book. But he can at least rest easy today. His mommy’s appearance in a campaign ad for Virginia Republican gubernatorial candidate Glenn Youngkin worked; the Trump-backed candidate won. Her account of dismay at her adult son’s reading of a novel seemingly resonated with voters. Blake Murphy’s trigger warning-less trauma was not for naught.
Today you will stand tall and unafraid, Blake Murphy. But — yes, okay, of course, don’t worry; tomorrow, it’s back under the covers for you. And yes I’m sure mommy will bring you some cereal.
