Things Kyrsten Sinema Has Ruined

Our attention-seeking, pattern-loving, progress-obstructing senator Kyrsten Sinema is at it again. By “it,” I mean “sucking” — specifically, at serving her constituents, carrying out her basic job functions, or doing anything but being one of the two most annoying Republican-edging Democrats in existence (the other one being West Virginia Sen. Joe Manchin). The Arizona girl is sticking to her guns and refusing to even entertain the idea of getting rid of the Senate filibuster rule, all but guaranteeing that President Joe Biden’s attempts to push through any legislative agenda — including a voting-rights bill — will fail in the gridlocked Senate.

“I will not support separate actions that worsen the underlying disease of division infecting our country,” said Sinema, who fancies herself a modern-day reincarnation of the late Sen. John McCain, on the Senate floor on Thursday. She appears to not be at all concerned that she is so loathed that her own voters want to primary her out of office, possibly because she is (allegedly) delusional enough to believe that she is a plausible presidential candidate for 2024.

But let’s not be unfair. In her short time in office thus far, Sinema has actually accomplished a lot — namely, ruining everything she touches. For example:

• Democracy
• Leopard and zebra print
• Power clashing
• Bisexuality
• Wigs
• Statement glasses
• Modcloth
• The concept of camp
• The concept of justice
• Triathlons
• Being an ex-Mormon
• Halloween
• Apple watches
• Injuries
• Krysten Ritter’s Google search results
• Arizona

Still two years of this to go — plenty of time left to work on doubling or even tripling this list.