Pope Trying-Too-Hard Claims He Hasn't Watched TV in 25 Years
According to Buzzfeed, Pope Francis—who really, really, really wants you to think he’s cool—told Argentine newspaper La Voz Del Pueblo this week that he, like, doesn’t even own a TV.
“I have not watched TV since 1990,” Pope Hipper-Than-Thou claimed in the interview published Monday. “It’s a promise that I made the Virgin of Carmen on the night of July 15, 1990. I told myself: ‘It’s not for me.’”
If true, that means dude still doesn’t know who killed Laura Palmer. Unbelievable.
In the same interview, Francis reasserted his supposed desire to go to a pizzeria and enjoy a chill slice of ‘za—a shameless attempt at appealing to today’s food meme-loving Millennials.
Reasonably, the interviewer suggested the Pope could get delivery instead.
“But it is not the same,” replied Francis, surely flipping back one wispy bang.
God, just give it a rest, guy.
[Image via Getty]