Princeton, an insane asylum for sickly, translucent-skinned WASPs camouflaged as an Ivy League university, has scandals, too. Not urgent, talk-of-the-town scandals that have bearing on reality, like at the University of Virginia, but scandals that make headlines in the New York Times, because they have to do with "Eating Clubs," which is where the insane asylum patients are breast-fed by well-trained macaques before being sent out to work in the financial sector. It's really quite a sight.

Recently there were some controversial emails sent around by two members of the storied Eating Club the Tiger Inn. The emailers, Adam Krop and Andrew Hoffenberg, seem particularly chafed by the fact that their club had to go co-ed in 1994 (it makes the monkey breast-feeding awkward), and as such the emails contained some choice insults and photo of a naked woman performing a sex act:

The first email, dated Oct. 12, showed a woman engaged in a sex act with a man in one of the public spaces of the club, Tiger Inn. It was sent out by Adam Krop, the club's vice president, to all the names on a club-wide mailing list, and it was accompanied by a crude joke and a reference to the woman as an "Asian chick."

Later that night Andrew Hoffenberg, the treasurer, sent an email to the same list regarding a lecture by the Princeton alumna whose lawsuit forced eating clubs to admit women. "Ever wonder who we have to thank (blame) for gender equality," the email began. "Looking for someone to blame for the influx of girls? Come tomorrow and help boo Sally Frank."

"Come tomorrow and help boo Sally Frank?" Is that code for a sex act I don't know about? Otherwise this is a terrible John O'Hara novel about sex crimes in the modern age.

The Times generously gives some additional useful background on the Tiger Inn:

Many of the club's parties have themes that seem designed to be provocative, like "Fifteenth Century A.D. Ottoman Aristocrats and Sluts." Regarding another recent party, the club's social chairman wrote an email to members pointing out that one of the words in that theme's name doubles as a slang term — for female genitalia. "But given our recent stint in the press," the email said, "I'd rather not see that sort out on the dance floor tonight."

Oh my. Surely America could make better use of these mens' prodigious talents, by having them clean the sides of highways or similar.

According to the Daily Princetonian, both Krop and Hoffenberg remain students at the university, despite distributing a picture of a person performing a sex act, which could qualify as a third-degree crime under New Jersey law, and calling for their fellow Tigers to boo Sally Frank, an alum who was instrumental in breaking down the gender wall that existed at Eating Clubs.

Just another semester at the insane asylum!

[Image via Wikimedia Commons]