Princeton, an insane asylum for sickly, translucent-skinned WASPs camouflaged as an Ivy League university, has scandals, too. Not urgent, talk-of-the-town scandals that have bearing on reality, like at the University of Virginia, but scandals that make headlines in the New York Times, because they have to do with "Eating Clubs," which is where the insane asylum patients are breast-fed by well-trained macaques before being sent out to work in the financial sector. It's really quite a sight.

Meg Whitman's sons, Griff and Will Harsh, have been kicked out of prep schools, an eating club, dormitories, and Princeton's class of 2008, say people who know them. One incident involving the n-word is already internet famous.