Salamanders: hell yeah, baby! You don't have to be the small guys on the playground anymore. When some stupid river fish swims over and calls you a pipsqueak, you can now invoke the holy memory of your forgotten ancestors—the recently discovered six-foot, toilet-seat-headed "super" salamanders. Who's the boss now?

Fossils of these Triassic period salamanders were dug up from a lakebed in southern Portugal recently, revealing that these creatures, which now on average only grow to be about 8 inches long (with the exception of the rare Chinese giant salamander), used to be top predators who grew up to six feet long. The AP has the report:

Steve Brusatte of the University of Edinburgh's School of GeoSciences, who led the study, said the new species, which had hundreds of sharp teeth, is "weird compared to anything today."

It was at the top of the food chain, feeding mainly on fish, but it was also a danger for newly appeared dinosaurs and mammals that strayed too near the water, Brusatte said.

The heads of these super salamanders resembled toilet seats, Dr. Brusatte told the BBC, which is a cool and threatening look.

Salamanders, if you're reading this, today is your day. Don't waste it.

[Image via AP]