The civilian mission to Mars, which will likely never happen in a million bajillion years, has received its fair share of mixed press. Most recently, The Guardian interviewed three potential candidates for the mission in a self-serious documentary gut-wrenchingly titled "If I die on Mars," in which an unnamed interviewer asks the most devastating question of all: You guys gonna be mad that you can't fuck anymore?

One would assume any human willing to sign up for a suicide mission to Mars would not really be worried about the potential to bonk, especially since the mission is not even slated to leave until 2024, if it ever does (which it probably won't). But in the video below, which is as dramatic as a modern-day Armageddon, three of Mars One's candidates are put to the test: what happens when you can no longer have sex because you'll be living on Mars? Good question. Strong investigation. Exactly what the public would like to know about the potential for humans to inhabit an entirely different planet.

Dina, an Iraqi-American responds, "It's not a big problem for me not to have sex indefinitely. I feel kind of shy to say it, but you can satisfy yourself." Good attitude but what about if you have to repair your energy source in order to not die? What about that? British candidate Ryan responds that he has never had sex, so there would be nothing to miss.

The interviewer also goes on to cause family members of the extremely hypothetical Mars One mission candidates to cry and experience deep sadness at the thought of their loved ones going to space and never coming back.

While the short doc is full of bizarre self-seriousness about a mission that has yet to even select its future travelers (only four people will be selected, if it even happens!), one truth emerges through Mozambican candidate Jeremias: "I think this world is not a good place to live anymore."