Square-Jawed Muscleman Jim Webb Predicts Jim Webb Will Win Tonight's Debate
Jim Webb (who?) tweeted an article this afternoon entitled “Debate Preview: Why My Money’s on Jim Webb.” Unfortunately for Jim Webb, that article was intended as comedy.
Webb—or Webb’s social media manager—eventually deleted the tweet, and it’s easy to see why. The blog post, penned by somebody calling himself Carl “The Dig” Diggler, read in part:
Webb is liable to have his big breakout moment at the debate when Democratic voters get a look at his square jaw, burly muscles, and big heavy combat boots. Adding to his long list of positives, the former Virginia Senator has a wife from another country, something very popular with Millennials. Furthermore, his habit of carrying a gun in this age of mass shootings could lead him to personally stopping a spree killer in the act, a moment that would almost certainly go viral.
The only knock on Webb? He might be too perfect a candidate.
It’s not particularly good satire, but it’s obvious that satire is what it is: the joke is that Jim Webb is not the perfect candidate, but its opposite. Even if he can’t find an earnest writer to predict him as victor for tonight’s big showdown, Webb can at least take comfort in remembering that he isn’t Lincoln Chafee.