· The secret Tom Cruise Scientology video gets immortalized in Superhero Movie with perhaps the best impression we've seen yet, courtesy of astonishing Cruise-alike Miles Fisher. Seriously—someone give this lusciously be-eyebrowed kid a shot at a legit career! [superhero-movie.net]

· Someone sent in this picture of a framed portrait of Alan Thicke and family, spotted hanging in the window of a store in Pasadena. We find it terrifying. [Flickr]

· Steve McQueen's estate sues a clothing company for plastering the legendary tough-guy's face on a line of poser clothing that would eventually end up on people like Ryan Seacrest. [Reuters]

· Tina Fey's dream 30 Rock guest is Oprah, playing her best friend. She'd also happily work with Britney Spears again, whom she describes as "very professional and nice," standing in stark contrast to Paris Hilton, whom she likens to a morsel of excrement [USA Today]

· Please do not eat the Icelandic pony. [blog.icelandexpress.com]

Earlier today, we wondered aloud as to what Tina Fey could have possibly seen in Josh Hartnett's body of work that would lead her to think that he would be a suitable love interest for her character on 30 Rock. Well, it turns out that our speculation was for naught, as we have recently learned that the original OK! Magazine piece that ran this morning appears to be patently false. In an email communication just sent to Defamer HQ, an NBC spokeswoman told us that there's "Absolutely no truth to this story. OK magazine has it wrong..." Phew! This news not only soothes our irritable tummies, but it also fills our hearts with joy. While we bear no ill will towards Mr. Hartnett, we must admit that we can think of at least two dozen actors off the top of our heads who would make a better suitor for Liz Lemon. Yes, even Ashton Kutcher!

We've never found much of what Josh Hartnett does particularly funny, with the possible exception of the scraggly 'stache that he's been sporting unironically for years. So how will the stiff-as-a-board actor fare when cast opposite the likes of Tina Fey and the rest of her comedically blessed cohorts on 30 Rock? OK! is reporting that Hartnett recently read for a part on the Emmy-winning laughfest as Fey's next love interest, a role that may last four to six episodes. And while this latest bit of stunt casting would be a major boost to Josh's embarrassing-of-late resume, the Emmy-winning show hardly needs a swarthy guest star to save it from sinking. So what does the much cleverer than us Tina Fey have up her sleeve?

30 Rock producer and star Tina Fey has two Emmys, a Golden Globe and a baby delivered during a 43-day maternity leave from her last job, head writer for Saturday Night Live. She is all of 37 years old so of course she's racing to ensure she doesn't end up an impoverished failure, or at least that's what she said in Parade magazine this past weekend. "I'm here laboring over this tiny show so much, and around me people are making money by the fistful," Fey said. To squeeze producing, acting and parenting into one life, Fey takes her work home with her. "We wrap shooting on a normal day by 7 p.m.," Fey told Parade. "Most times, I then bring three or four writers home with me. I'll put Alice to bed before they come over, then we continue writing until I can no longer stay awake." Fey once woke up in the morning to find writers in her living room, still at work. Slave driver! But, honestly, who wouldn't line up for the chance to come home with Tina Fey, even if it involved grueling laptop work? After the jump, an excerpt from the Ask Tina feature on NBC.com, in which Fey reveals how inviting people home is a deeply-ingrained writing strategy for her:

On Sunday night in New York, paps caught redheaded star Amy "No, I'm Not Isla Fisher" Adams leaving the romantic West Village hotspot Paris Commune with someone that we initially thought might have been her little brother visiting from out of town. But then we caught a glimpse of that infamous ear-to-ear grin that 30 Rock's Jack McBrayer has won the world's love with, and couldn't help but embarrassingly reflect it ourselves. Exiting arm in arm, and judging by Jack's toothier-than-ever mug, the duo couldn't look more adorable. But! Pictures after the jump sadly ruin our plans to send a cappuccino machine to the NBC set...

Okay, we have officially forgiven Mariah Carey for Glitter, for two reasons. 1) She's such a hardcore 30 Rock fan that she asked Kenneth the Page to co-star in her new music video, and 2) Mimz is lookin' fine these days. Possibly the best she's ever looked. In this video for her new single, "Touch My Body," Kenneth (aka Jack McBrayer) plays a "compunerd" who shows up at Mariah's manse to fix technical issues with her 'puter, but winds up romping around wearing a Middle Ages fighting crown in her fluffy bed playing pillow fight. Our favorite moment? Kenneth's dead-on impression of Mariah's legendary falsetto singing skills in the first 30 seconds. Well that, and the sight of him walking an actual unicorn down a dark alley while wearing a regal robe. Well that, and and a mod scene in which Mimz and Kenny faux-shoot each other with guns. On second thought, scratch all that; every moment is classic.

30 Rock back April 10 with five episodes! 24 can't torture anyone until January 2009!! [EW]

Always eager to oblige a reader request, we threw together this side-by-side of Judah Friedlander and Alice in Wonderland's Walrus that we suggested earlier for the Disney Dream Portrait seres. As we suspected, it was an inspired casting choice, as the two bear an uncanny physical resemblance. With that settled, now all we need is to determine who'll play his companion, The Carpenter. Our vote is for Seth Green. [Defamer]

On last night's very special Christmas episode of "30 Rock," the line between Tracy Jordan and Tracy Morgan became even blurrier when Jordan was forced to wear a court-ordered alcohol-detecting anklet. It's dark because it's true! Morgan was arrested twice (once on each coast!) for driving under the influence and given an alcohol vapor-monitoring accessory of his very own for 80 days. Merry Ludachristmas!

Just as some optimistic and industrious Shark assistants turned the strike to their advantage, rolling up their shirtsleeves to whip up a refreshing batch of Nick Counter-Eats-Farts-erade, there are the rare silver linings to the ongoing work-stoppage, not the least of which was a benefit live performance of an all-new episode of 30 Rock, performed last night by the show's cast for a lucky audience at New York's Upright Citizen's Brigade theater. (The evening before, SNL players performed two-hours' worth of too-hot-for-TV sketches in the same space.) The Rock blog reports have already begun to roll in, breathlessly describing the electrifying atmosphere around the once-in-a-lifetime sitcom-happening, while dutifully adhering to Tina Fey's requests not to divulge any plot points of the already-taped show. ("'Cause, you know, the show's kind of like Heroes.") A round-up from around the web:
· The show was "ridiculously awesome," as much for the actual episode as for the luxury of being able to be catch a rare glimpse at the cast's table-read-only displays of mutual appreciation, including Alec Baldwin cracking up "at the word 'tampon' and Tracy Morgan shaking his head laughing at a Jane Krakowski deaf joke." [BWE]

In his latest Huffington Post dispatch, 30 Rock star Alec Baldwin, despite trying to keep things light by first calling attention to something that gives him joy—Ryan Gosling's great work in Lars and the Real Girl— finally succumbs to despair: "I miss my make-up artist, Stacey Panepinto. I miss my hairstylist, Richard Esposito. I miss all of the 30 ROCK cast and crew, who I don't see anymore because of this motherfucking, motherfucking, motherfucking strike." While he's understandably anguished by the unpleasant consequences of the strike, we're sure that the consummate artist will find a way to channel those feelings into tonight's live performance of his sitcom, delivering an especially poignant performance of the bravura moment that's sure to bring him an Emmy, one so impassioned that those in attendance will swear he momentarily transformed into Jimmie Walker. [HuffPo]

That little stretch of Lafayette where New York pretends to be L.A. was buzzing last night as strike-fearing actors packed into Butter. Says our spy, "Two stars from '30 Rock,' Kristina Bowen and Lonny Ross, were like, 'Um we are pretty much screwed. We have one more shooting script and that's It.' Lance Bass tried to join in on the convo, asking 'Wait does this affect talk shows....' His nose in person reminds me of Peter Pan. Plastic surgery is NOT his friend." But the biggest celeb in attendance was the Butterscotch Stallion himself, 'Darjeeling Express' star Owen Wilson, accompanied only by "a PR lady and two bodyguards." "He left in under 30 mins. It was a bit of a buzz killer—everyone was like 'Gasp—that's the Wilson brother who tried to kill himself.' It was such an odd reaction. Why is he going out anyway, you know?" To promote 'not being dead,' one assumes.

Last night, nestled in an episode of the consistently hilarious 30 Rock starring Carrie Fisher as the ghost of Liz Lemon's schizophrenic, rat-infested future, was a scene of less than two minutes in duration that could easily go down as one the greatest acting triumphs of this or any other generation. In it, Sir Alec Baldwin (is he not a Sir yet? Because he should be) inhabits no less than five figures from Tracy Jordan's formative years, seamlessly traversing age, gender, and ethnic lines with a proficiency that would make a bitterly envious Eddie Murphy storm out of the room faster than he did on Oscar night. Jack Donaghy, we salute you.

Last night on the NBC show "30 Rock," Alec Baldwin reached the apotheosis of his dark and stormy acting career, a career that has had so very many funny moments. (Remember that voicemail he left for his daughter? Hilarious!) Baldwin lost the 2007 Emmy (his sixth nomination!) to Ricky Gervais (foreigners, always taking our jobs!)—but now we're feeling confident that his public rehabilitation is complete.

"I visited the set of '30 Rock,' and Al Gore was definitely there; apparently, the cast & crew wore 'Gore '08' shirts. His appearance should be on the 5th episode this season...."

Hey! Radar says that our actual President, Al Gore, shot an appearance for "30 Rock." Cool! But we wonder: Are the "sources close to the production of NBC's '30 Rock'" actually "Radar editor Maer Roshan's boyfriend, Matt," who has, we hear, a bit part on that very show? Maybe not! But maybe! Update: We've been assured by Radar folks that it absolutely wasn't young Matt. [Radar]

· Last night's Emmys drew the second-smallest TV audience in the awards show's history with an anemic average of 13.1 million viewers. No one, it seems, was tantalized by the sketchy possibility of Britney Spears showing up to apologize for destroying her career, or by the prospect of emergency host Ryan Seacrest breaking into song. Congratulations, America: you saved yourself over three hours of torture. (We were not so lucky.) [Variety]
· Tina Fey hopes 30 Rock's big win for Best Comedy Series will bring viewers to her show—obviously, she wasn't privy to the preliminary Emmy Nielsens when she made that crazy wish. [THR]
· AMC has an Emmy coming-out party, capturing four awards for Broken Trail. [Variety]
· Remember Pop-Up Video, the show that provided you with amusing, if useless, factoids about the "music videos" one used to be able to watch on VH1? It's coming back in a mobile format, allowing you to learn everything you ever wanted to know about "Hollaback Girl" by staring at your cellphone's tiny screen while stopped at a red light. [THR]
· Internet-creating former VP Al Gore doesn't even know the URL of his interactive TV network's website. [Update: Whoops, yes he does!] [variety]

Before Alec Baldwin's Mametian approach to child-rearing went public through a leaked voicemail left for his porcine, etiquette-challenged 11-year-old daughter, Tracy Morgan was the 30 Rock star garnering the most unwelcome headlines for the fledgling sitcom. A DUI arrest last November led to a guilty plea bargain that allowed the comedian to avoid jail time if he agreed to make high school appearances and wear a SCRAM. Sitting down with the AP in anticipation of his upcoming gig hosting Spike TV's Guys Choice Awards, Morgan waxed philosophical about his party-loving demons:

From the very moment that NBC controversially decided to greenlight two different series (one hourlong, one a half-hour) set behind the scenes at an SNLesque sketch comedy show and named for the numbered structures (one fictional, one real) in which they were produced, the fates of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and 30 Rock (one disappointing, one vastly superior) were inextricably linked. With Studio 60 indefinitely yanked from the airwaves and creator Aaron Sorkin failing thus far to live up his billing as Peacock Messiah (or even to a lesser, personal mission as Redeemer of a Debauched Medium), the network is now placing its sketch-comedy-related hopes for eventual Nielsen salvation in 30 Rock's Tina Fey, reports Var: