Remember the ‘90s? When you were an innocent incorruptible babe, hermetically sealed from the ills of the world around you, and your mom dragged you to that outdoor John Cougar Mellencamp concert because she couldn’t find a babysitter? And she got a little drunker than she meant to and tried to get you to climb on the picnic table and dance with her like This song has a great beat! but you didn’t want to like Ugh, come ON mom? Now you’re the mom. Congratulations, mom.